21. A Transformation Story with Misty Hassenstab (Part 1)

Today is part one of a two-part with interview with one of my clients. First of a client interview and client conversation, business partner and now friend Misty Hassenstab. 

• Misty is a wife, mother of a beautiful baby girl, full-time Entrepreneur, Real Estate Investor, & Business & Mindset Coach with 6+ years of experience in real estate investing. 

 In part one, we talk about:

• Our history and how we got to know each other and how we both became coaches.
• Concept of learning from our teachers and then implementing it in our lives, and then teaching others.
•  Relationship with yourself is the most important relationship that you'll ever have and how it positively impacts everything else in your life.
• Mel Robbins say "If you're feeling imposter syndrome, and we all do at some point" which is a very good sign to be curious other than overwhelmed.
• The cycle of coaching: learn, implement on herself, teach others.

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• Grab your free workbook on How to Coach Yourself and Ask Powerful Questions HERE
• Sign up for my free course on How to Get 10 Hours Back a Week HERE
• Email me with any questions or coaching requests to [email protected]

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What You'll Learn from this Episode:

• How you can transform yourself to achieve your goals and dreams
• It requires dedication, persistence, and a systematic approach. 
• Define your goals and create a plan
• Understand your strengths, weaknesses, values, and motivations.
• Reflect on what drives you and what may hold you back.
• Develop a growth mindset and adopt a positive attitude toward challenges, setbacks, and failures, seeing them as opportunities for growth and learning.
• Seek out resources such as books, online courses, mentors, or workshops to gain the necessary expertise.
• Schedule your FREE private session with me here:  https://www.thedreamacademy.com/schedule

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• Mel Robbins
• Brooke Castillo

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Full Episode Transcript:

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You are listening to the Success-Minded Woman with Deidrea Kiesling. Episode 21. Today is part one of a two-part interview with one of my clients and then business partner and now friend Misty Hassenstab. We have known each other now for almost three years, and we both have gone through such a growth and learning experience together.

I am so excited to share this interview with you. In part one, we talk about our history and how we got to know each other and how we both became coaches, and what we are doing in the world. And one of the things that we talk about at the end, to make sure that I give credit to whom I was referring to, we talked about the concept of learning from our teachers and then implementing it in our lives, and then teaching others.

And as coaches, that's a process that we often do when we are growing and evolving and learning new skills and tools and first applying them to ourselves. And so I wanted to just mention that I first learned about that concept from Brooke Castillo at the Life Coach School, which is where I got my first Life Coach certification.

Just wanted to make sure that I told you all where I first learned that concept from. Although I'm sure I had been exposed to that concept in a lot of other places. But I always do my best to share with you where I heard something or where I learned something or any of my mentors or books or podcasts that I am learning from because I always like to share that whenever I can.

So wanted to get back and let you know that I talk about at the end of the episode. So part one, today and then come back next week for part two, and this will be a series that I will continue where I bring clients onto the podcast so we can talk about their experience with coaching and the transformations that they've experienced, and then how they're going out in the world and making the impact that they want with their clients and with their businesses.

This is the first of a client interview and client conversation that I will be having. I am so honored and privileged to have this first client conversation, this powerful conversation with Misty Hassenstab. All right, let's go. 

Y'all. I am so excited. This is another dream come true for me to have my first podcast guest on the podcast. And I couldn't be more excited to have Misty Flanagan, who is the co-founder of Her Mindset Matters, REI, which she and I started together, and I'm sure we're going to talk about that. Oh, yeah.

Misty and I have known each other. I just went and checked my notes and I'll talk more about that but for over three years. I think it was, while it was early 2020 when we started working together one-on-one, I believe it was right before Covid hit, and I still, to this day, I'm like, thank God! I had Deidrea when Covid hit and we can talk about that, but I just remember being like, I know I'm so grateful that I had you during that time because it was such an uncertain time, especially for small businesses and all of that. So I always remember it was either the very end of 2019 or very beginning of 2020 that you and I connected and started working together. 

Yes, and I actually have some notes, so I will get to that to remind both of us. But before we jump into it, why don't you please introduce yourself to the listeners, and then at the end, I want everyone to stay tuned because Misty has some really exciting things coming up that we want to share with you.

 Yes, absolutely. Thank you so much. It's an absolute honor to be your first guest on your podcast here. So I'm so excited to just chat and hopefully provide some awesome value to your listeners. I know that you provide awesome value and so I'm just really honored to be here and contribute to that as well.

 And just connect with your audience, I am actually Misty Hassenstab now. I know you're oh, I'm so sorry. Yes. You have gotten married since then. It happens all the time because I was Misty Flanagan for 38 years. Yeah. And finally got married to my husband I've been with. This year will be our 20 year anniversary.

I still cannot believe it, our two-year wedding anniversary, our 20 years. Together anniversary, and we got married on our 18-year anniversary. And then we celebrated the birth of our baby girl in April of last year. And so she just turned one at the end of April and it's just been an amazing journey becoming a wife. It is different, I will say, than being a girlfriend. And then definitely becoming a mother has been one of the greatest gifts that I could have ever received. And I've been an entrepreneur real estate investor since November 2016, so six and a half years. And then I've been coaching women, they're female investors in that space.

And now venturing more into just female entrepreneurship. Since July, 2020 when you and I started Her Mindset Matters REI. So I just absolutely love what I do. Love life. Our focus in real estate investing is really more on the development side of things. My husband loves to build, so he gets to focus on that.

 I get to focus on building my coaching business, which I'm extremely passionate about. We actually just had three of our tribe members come together and close on two investment profits. I know I saw that post in our group and oh my God, as a coach,  it is the best to see.

 I literally have goosebumps like, yes that's what we wanted. That was our vision. Yeah. Yes. When we started, her mindset matters. Yeah. It's beautiful. It's so when, we had a vision to help women real estate investors. Create or expand their investing businesses.

 But I didn't realize when we first started it, and maybe you had this vision  I didn't see. The vision of them working together and collaborating for me. I really had a vision of just individually the women creating success for themselves. But when we started seeing them collaborating, I think you and I both when we saw that.

 Picture when they did a property tour and they were all together, it was so beautiful. It's so amazing to see women supporting women. Yes. And especially in an industry that is very male dominated, the investing side of real estate is still very male dominated. We're coming in hot, we're taking over.

 I just attended a conference in Scottsdale Last month. Yeah, last month in May, that there was over 500 female investors. And I've never attended many real estate conferences, but they're majority men. And so we are definitely, coming in and putting our foot down and applying the amazing qualities that we have as women to this industry.

But to see the women supporting women in such a male dominated industry. And really growing themselves and their businesses alongside each other together. Building wealth and to see them. So excited about it. And I briefly chatted with Sharon, she was one of the three women today.

 And she said, it's so crazy how Dawn has these strengths and Diana has these strengths and we're coming together to create this. I'm so excited, and it just, I love how they're connecting with each other, not just to make money. But they really like utilizing each other's strengths and capabilities and seeing how they can come together as a team to facilitate these sorts of projects and build businesses and obviously make money.

 But for women, it's so much more than just making money. And that's really what our program, we really dove into that, the mindset side of things. Because we need a stronger why we need partnership, companionship, and community support. We're just different than men, and that's okay.

And so to see that really just come to flourishion is oh man, it's just awesome. I just love it. It's so I know. And that Facebook group so there is a private Facebook group for women that have gone through the program. Her mindset matters REI is it eight weeks? Eight weeks. Yes. Eight-week coaching program.

So when Misty and I started it, it was a six-week program and she's expanded that and added more strategies and mindset and marketing things to it. But when we first started that, when we did our first group, we had 10 women. But when we opened that Facebook group, there were 10 women in that Facebook group.

And now how many women are in that Facebook group? There are over 140 women that are part of that. So that was amazing when I saw that. Ugh. Yes, I know. I love it. Yeah. Love it. I'm going to check my notes because there are a couple of things I wanna make sure we cover. Sure. So first I just want to say that my intention with this podcast is to share and inspire my listeners to tap into their inner guidance, to follow their dreams and how you did it and your advice to our listeners. Absolutely.

And so I think I wanna start with we mentioned it earlier, but when we first met. So we met you, it was a Facebook group that you had that was just it, was it, you weren't selling anything in that group. You just created a Facebook group because you really wanted to, it was for women, real estate investors, and you just wanted to really just connect women and inspire them.

And we met there and you did a post and you mentioned something and I knew I could help you with that, or I said I could, do you want me to, I don't even remember exactly what it was, but I said I'm a coach and I was doing free coaching then as I built my coaching practice. And so we, you said yes.

 I basically messaged me like immediately. Yes. And we set up our first coaching call, and so I have it in my notes. It was February 17th, 2020. Okay, perfect. And I know we can't talk about everything that's happened between then and now, but your journey is so inspiring and so I wanna just make sure that we hit the highlights of it really to share your lessons with the listeners and, but one of the things that I wanna say to you, which I think I've told you before, but to everyone, is that you are such an example. I'm probably gonna cry.

Being open, being willing, being coachable to listen to your intuition and your guidance. To really step into your dream and your vision and your purpose for your life. And that was scary. And when I met you was very scary. You're right at that crossroad.

The crossroads. Yeah. Of you knew you were meant for more and you knew you were ready to really start creating it, but you are struggling. Yes, I was. Do you wanna talk a little bit about that? Yeah, absolutely. I'm an open book and I think that there are so many people out there. I was just listening to a podcast right before this about, it was about what makes a good life and people, we're almost sold what makes a good life.

And he's examples of marketing and if you feed your family this pasta, they'll love you. And if you buy this car, you're gonna be happy. And just, we're sold all these things. And I know for myself  I was sold on, if I become an entrepreneur and a real estate investor, then I'm gonna feel happy and successful and fulfilled, and everything's going to be perfect.

Now we know perfectionism doesn't exist. There's nothing perfect and there's so much beauty in that. But when, yeah, when I found you or you found me, or we found each other. We were destined to be together. Oh my gosh. Yeah. It just, it literally could not have come at a more perfect time.

And it was, I was really struggling. So by that time it was 2020. I. And we were a few years into our business, and I was feeling lost. I was feeling, I, I'm not feeling this fulfillment that I thought I really wanted to help people in a powerful way. And I was doing that through helping people stop their foreclosures.But I just really felt like there was something missing.

And working with you, you were asking me questions. That's one of the things I remember is you just asking me question after question. And I'd always been told what I would be good at or what I should do, or, so I really didn't know myself.

 I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't really know who I was, and so you asking me questions. It got me thinking and then, and then it was okay to say, I don't think real estate investing, for me full-time, is the right path. That was extremely scary to admit, because we had left our corporate jobs, had invested all of this money into a training program.

We had put all of our savings into this business and for me to say, go to my husband and say, I don't think this is like for me full-time. I wanna be a part of it, but not. Being in it full-time was terrifying and there was always this sense of I wanna teach people, I wanna guide people, I wanna develop people, I want to ask them the questions that you were asking me to help them find the answers within.

 Because I was meeting so many women, both of us were at that time, meeting so many women that were so lost. Whether they were just getting started in their real estate investing journey, or had been on it for a while. Yeah, we just, we were like, you approached me and said I think there's a need for this.

You bring the real estate investing side of things, education, and knowledge, and I bring the mindset and let's really help these women step into the best version of themselves and really discover. Is real estate investing, what they wanna do, and how do they wanna create that business if it is?

 And if not, where, in which direction do they wanna go? And that was really where it was like, okay, now I've figured out what I'm like put on this earth to do what I'm meant to do. I'd always thought that I should have become a teacher. I. And I thought I missed my calling in that because that's what I was originally gonna do when I was in high school.

 And then I moved to California and I had big dreams and whatever and I always came back to that and I missed the HR side of things, the training and developing side of things in the HR role that I had in corporate. And so now I get to incorporate all of that into everything that I do in my coaching business.

And it's amazing. But it took a lot of digging deep. It took a lot of understanding myself, building confidence, and asking myself tough questions, which I still ask every day. And now my coaching clients tell me, gosh, Misty, you asked the hardest question, but I love it because you're the only person that actually does that.

Yeah, everybody else just tells you what to do, or, oh, I think you should do this. And I understand they're trying to quote, unquote, help you, but we have to know how to find those answers from within. And I think we're in a society where everybody tells us everything that we need and wants, and we don't ever ask ourselves.

 And it's a problem. And then no wonder. You grow up and you think you're supposed to be happy because you have all of these things or have achieved all of this quote unquote success, but you don't feel it. Yeah. You feel lost and you're like, what's going on here? And so it's a really interesting journey to go on. And it's a self-discovery journey and it never ends. And I love it.

 Now I'm on a self-discovery journey of motherhood. Yes. And we were just talking about how we can make it whatever we want it to be. Yes. Whether it's our business, our marriage, our family.

 I love that, I absolutely love that. And I'm truly enjoying motherhood on a level that I know just a few years ago I would've been so overwhelmed and oh, I should be doing this. Or what if I mess her up? What if I, just second guessing myself the whole time?

 Yeah. Yeah. And I don't feel that at all. Yeah. And it's amazing. It's so wonderful to really, truly be able to enjoy this time in my life, within my business, within my marriage, with my daughter. If we hadn't done the work that we did together. I know for a fact, that's why you and I cried like crazy at my baby shower.

This is really happening, what we talked about, and it's so beautiful and I know  I love the platform that you provide here because not everybody can afford to coach. Not everybody has those capabilities and means and things like that, but if you listen to things like this and we're able to provide you the tools and examples and stories around where we were and where we are and how we got there.

 Anybody can do the work that we have done and that we help our clients do, on their own. We can take it deeper by working with them, but anybody is capable of doing this, and that's really the message that I'm now trying to get people to understand this relationship with yourself is the most important relationship that you'll ever have. And it needs to be number one because then it positively impacts everything else in your life and such a powerful way. So if we don't focus on that, then it's difficult to feel fulfilled and successful and happy and all of that in the other areas of your life.

It's so true and I keep learning that. Like relearning it deeper and deeper, and coming back to that. And because of you, I think we all want to give us the steps. Tell me what to do, to get what I want. And like you said, a lot of the time, what we want is not really our dream and it's not really our passion.

What you said was, it's what we think we should do or what people told us we are good at. And that's one of the things that I really saw metamorphic in you of breaking out of that box that you were in about what you should do. Yeah. And really following your guidance and your internal wisdom.

That you knew that you wanted to help people, that you wanted to teach people. I have my notes. I actually made this note in here. I listened to our first, Zoom call our first Zoom coaching. Oh my goodness. Prepare to prepare for this. Yeah. And I wanna say for both of us, we have grown. Oh yes, I'm sure that we, for me, I've lost 50 pounds since we did that.

And so me just like seeing myself, it's whoa, I really look a lot different than I did then. But just emotionally where you were, I was just starting my coaching business. I was still full-time in my consulting business, so just both of us yeah, are really, have stepped in fully to our dreams for our lives.

But this is something that I wanted to circle back to because you were in the process of trying to make some decisions about a business that you were gonna create. But you really weren't that passionate about it. It was something you thought you should do, right? And you thought that you were capable of doing it. We got to the point in that coaching session where you actually knew, you realized. That you were a hundred percent capable of doing it right? You knew you could do it, but the vision that you had for that was that you were gonna grow this business. It was gonna get to a certain point where this is the part that I noted.

Ultimately, this is what you said, this is your exact quote. Ultimately, I would love to scale to a point where I could do, where I could just sit at the top and do all the training part because of what I love. So you knew what you love. What I love is building teams, training and developing of people, and helping people.

Yep. Those are my biggest passions. Absolutely. And I think that's a big lesson for everyone is that instead of thinking about what you should do or even what you're good at, to really ask yourself and answer the question, what would I love? Yeah, and I love it, and that's a powerful coaching tool that I use now at the beginning of every coaching relationship with every new client.

 We start with that question. Yes, what would you love? Because that breaks you out of all the boxes of the should. And when you that's what you asked me to answer that question. That's what you asked me when we hopped on a Zoom, when I was falling apart the first couple months of motherhood. And you're like what?

What do you want this to look like? You know what? What do you, because  I didn't wanna give up my business. But I was feeling guilty, spending time on my business and not with my daughter, and then I'm spending time with my daughter thinking about my business, and it was like, oh yeah, that's right.

I get to decide what this looks and feels and after that, it was like the guilt just went away. Are there moments of it that come in if I'm working super late, to meet a deadline and launch a new group, or working late with a client? Yeah, sure. But the all-around, oh, I should be doing this.

And it's so interesting because I just had a really beautiful conversation with a mom that she just had her first baby girl. And it was right before she was about to have her. She was about a week out. And she's Misty, I just keep having these conversations. She's an entrepreneur, she's a coach and works on mind and body and all of that.

 And she's I just keep having these conversations with mompreneurs. I like to call them and they keep telling me I have to take, at least four weeks off and I have to do this and I have to do that and I should do this and should do that. And I'm like throw all of that out the window.

 They don't know you. Like you, you're the only one that knows you. And I told her, I said, even if you plan, because she was trying to plan everything so that her clients would be taken care of, she would have time with her daughter, she would be taken care of, she would still be able to have time with her husband.

 And I said, throw it all out the window because I promise you. As, as soon as that baby girl comes in, you're gonna have to refigure it all out anyways. And I told her what you told me, and I said, you get to decide what this looks like. Yeah. I said, I've got all the same women telling me all the same things.

Oh, you're not taking time off. Oh, you don't have a nanny lined up.  Oh my gosh. And I loved it was hard in the beginning, obviously, it's a whole new world. Come on, but once I really realized that I was in charge there and  I was able to create what it is that I wanted, as a mompreneur, right?

  None of what everybody else said or what I thought, or what I should or shouldn't do, mattered. And she said, oh my gosh, you were the first and only person that has ever told me that. I've been so stressed about all of this, and now I can just let it go and just enjoy it.

And  she jumped back into helping clients little by little, just like I did. And she's loving it. She's loving being a mom. She feels fulfilled in her career, and in her business as a mom. And, I'm just like, this is so great that people are starting to understand that we're in charge here.

Nobody else and not society, and nobody can tell you what you should or shouldn't do. My coach always says all the time, Stop shooting all over yourself. Misty, she catches me in that because we're all guilty of, I don't like to say going backwards because we're never going backwards. We're always going forward, but sometimes it can feel like that.

That's actually what you told me in that coaching. We did a quick, we did like a quickie. Yeah. Like a kind of like it was almost like an emergency room visit. Yeah. It was like a drive-by. Hey, let's check in, and see what's going on here.

And that's where we got to. Yeah. Yeah. It was just a quick tune-up is what you needed. I felt like I was totally going backward and lost again,  and it makes total sense, right? This is a whole new world, a whole new person in your life, a whole new responsibility.

I really wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to lose myself in all of the work that I had done in finding myself. Yeah, I didn't wanna lose it in the birth of this baby girl. And, it, that was like the scariest thing for me or lose it in my clients and then, whatever it was, I really just wanted to make sure I stayed connected with myself.

And it's something I have to work on every single day. And  I'm in a phase right now where I said the same thing to my coach on Monday. I said, Ashley, I just feel a little lost. I feel a little confused,  and she's yeah, because you're about to launch this Master Your Mindset Mastermind.

This is a whole new world for you. This is a whole new, you're leveling up. So how exciting is that? Of course you're gonna have some confusion. Of course. You're gonna have a little bit of self-doubt. This is something new. Yeah. And I was like, oh yeah. This is part of the transformation cycle.

This is stage one confusion, right? But I don't have to stay here. I can move into the next phase and really start embracing what's about to happen. And make it whatever I want it to be, which is yes, we get to decide. And I heard Mel Robbins say this recently. If you're feeling imposter syndrome, and we all do at some point.

 Yes, we do.  It's good if you feel yourself in imposter syndrome, it just means that you're growing. Yes. You're challenging it.  It's an actual sign. That you're on the right path. Yep. Because if you get too comfortable and stay where you are if you're like us you're not gonna that either.

 Because you're gonna be like I feel stuck. I feel like I'm not going. I feel like I'm supposed to be doing more. And so  it's a very good sign. We just have to remind ourselves of that when we're feeling. My thing that I do is I retreat a little bit when I'm trying to get too in my head and then I have to like, okay, let's get curious about this. Let's not let it take over. Let's get curious about why I am feeling these things and really, dive into that and the excitement about what's about to happen instead of be consumed by the overwhelm of what's about to happen.

 Yeah. You and I, even though we've been doing this and we coach others. We still have to. We have our own coaches and I will always have a coach. Yes, me too. It's like part of the team. It's so important because as we grow ourselves, we're gonna need that support. And then I love taking everything that I've experienced and all the tools and resources from my coaches and programs that I've been a part of and applying it and sharing it with the women that I coach, yeah. I heard one of my coaches say the model that she uses, she realized this after she was doing it for a while. It was learn, implement on herself, teach others. And that was, she realized that was her cycle of  how she delivered her mission in the world was. Yep. She realized that cycle. So every time she was learning something, she was applying it to herself.

 And she always knew that once she got through that application. When she was at a point, then she would teach other people and support other people in doing that. And so we're constantly evolving and growing, learning, implementing, teaching. And whether you teach like how we are as coaches, you could also, you're gonna be teaching by example how Oh, yeah.

 When you're out in the world. However you are being in the world. Yep. You obviously changed my life and I'm so happy that you're sharing this and can change more people's lives, so thank you as well. Thank you so much. All right. All right. Thank you.

 Thanks for joining me this week on The Success Minded Woman podcast. If you like what you heard on the podcast and you want to know more, then head on over to thedreamacademy.com where you can sign up for my weekly success and mindset tips to help you create your dream come true life. Talk to you all next week, bye.

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