27. Life Changing Phrases

Can the phrases you whisper to yourself when all seems lost truly turn your life around? Today, we journey into the world of thoughts and language, exploring how they have the capacity to shape our reality.

We'll share powerful strategies and phrases that can help you break free from the chains of negativity and failure, setting your mind on the path to achieving your goals.

We'll also shed light on how to rewire your brain, to maintain a positive outlook even when life hits you hard. Let's uncover the magic behind the idea that words become things and reflect on the impact of negative thinking and bad habits, reminding you that to attain your dreams, it all starts with the words you say to yourself.

What You'll Learn From this Episode:

• How to use phrases like "up until now" to break negative thought patterns.

• Techniques to use language and thought to remain resilient in the face of discouragement.

• How to use thoughts as a tool to manifest dreams into reality.

• Tips to reframe negative thoughts and transform them into positive ones.

• Creating a vision for your life and the role of thoughts in manifesting this vision.

• Why it's important to say the right things when discouraged and rewiring neuropathways to stay focused.

Featured on the Episode:

• Florence Scovel Shinn's book "Your Word is Your Wand"
• Corinne Crabtree

If you want to find out more about how coaching with me will help you get in touch with your dreams and start living them, here are some resources for you.

Book a Free Strategy Call  Click here to book a call with me

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Get my Free Workbook Click here to download  How to Coach Yourself

Listen to the Full Episode:

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Full Episode Transcript:

📍You're listening to The Success Minded Woman with Deidrea Kiesling, episode 27. Today is all about what we say to ourselves, powerful words, and phrases that we can say to ourselves to create the life that we're dreaming of. And I love this quote by Florence Scovel Shinn in the book, Your Word is Your Wand, which we'll talk about in the episode.

And every great work, every big accomplishment has been brought into manifestation through holding to the vision, and often just before the big achievement comes apparent failure and discouragement. And this episode is all about what to think and say to yourself, about yourself when you're feeling apparent failure and discouragement.

So, stay tuned and learn some powerful phrases that you can tell yourself when it's hard.

Hi, I'm Deidrea, wife, and mom to three teenagers, coffee snob, and certified life and business coach. If you're a high-achieving, goal-oriented woman and you know you were meant for more, then you are a success minded woman and you're in the right place. I'm here to help you make the money and the impact you've been dreaming of, to step into your confidence, create habits and systems to support you, ditch that and post your syndrome, and harness the power of your mind. If you're ready to create a life and business you love, then let's go. I'm so glad you're here.

Hello, I'm so glad you're here. Before we get into the episode today, I just wanted to tell you that I am up early in the morning, and I have a big, yummy sweater on and my Ugg slippers and I am really enjoying the change of temperature. We are in Texas, and it is finally starting to cool down. There's a Christmas crispness in the air.

We can go out walking no matter what time of day in the summertime. You don't want to go out for your exercise in the afternoon because it's too hot. So, we were at my son's football game last night and my husband looks over to me and says, it's finally football weather. It just feels perfect right now.

I know it probably won't last, but we're just sucking it all up right now. So today, as I was thinking about how we're getting to the end of the year and thinking about helping with my clients and really how do they want to feel through the rest of the year and what they want to have completed by the rest of the year, not only just their goals but really the part of their vision of experiencing the Holidays of feeling about themselves and their life at the end of the year, and the best way to do that is start visioning that now of what you want that to look like, what you want your Holidays to look like externally, where you want to be, who you want to be with and that sort of thing. But really more about internally. How do you want to feel? How do you want to experience the Holidays?

And one of the things that helps me and helps my clients and really is just how we change. It's part of how we change our thinking, which is how we change our results. Because everything that we have in our outside environment first comes from our thoughts. And so, as I was thinking about this and this episode, I didn't know how to title it because there's a lot of different things I wanted to put in today's episode and each one of them can be their own episode.

But I kind of just wanted to put it all in this week's episode. So, you can really start implementing these concepts throughout your days and throughout your weeks as we get to the end of the year. So, these are all things that you can say to yourself, or you can write in your journal that will help with changing your thoughts, rewiring your neuro pathways and keep you focused on where you're going to keep you focused on your vision of the life that you would love.

And I was just telling one of my clients yesterday and she was asking me, but how do I do it? Or what do I do when this happens? And I just keep helping her come back to the basics of calming yourself down, getting into taking deep breaths so that you're calm and centered and you can choose one of these phrases to say to yourself in the moment to pull yourself back to get yourself into the present moment, because that's really all there is and when we're feeling anxiety and doubt and worried about things that haven't happened yet.

Or, if we're having anxiety about what will happen, we're also worried about things that haven't happened yet. So all of these phrases that I'm going to share with you are all about what to say to yourself in the moment when you start to feel anxious, full of doubt, worry, confused, all of the things that come up on our way to our goals, on our way to creating the vision for our life, and in no particular order, I'm going to give you some of these phrases.

And well, actually, the order is this is how I wrote them down. And so, I think this is part of maybe how I use them. I don't know. Okay. So, here's the first one up until now. So, this is the one that I use a lot, I don't know, every day. And this is one that my clients use every day when we work together.

And so, here's how it works …

When you're saying something either out loud or you're thinking it, or you're writing it in your journal about something describing yourself or something describing your life. So, for example, one of my clients says, I'm struggling with being consistent and daily exercise.

That's just one example. Maybe I'll come up with some more, but it's really about things that you say about yourself, assuming that how you were is how you are now. And so, what this does, this phrase up until now is it breaks that pattern. It starts to break that pattern in your head of how you think about yourself of who you think you are.

So, in that example, where my client was saying, I'm struggling with being consistent in my exercise. What I asked her to do is say, up until now, I struggled, but now this is what I'm doing, but now I'm setting a time every day when I'm going to do my exercise, and I also asked her to set the bar low to get started with a minimum amount that she's going to do every day.

And so, when you start to think about something about yourself, you break it by saying up until now, and it cuts the past from your current and from where you're going. And so, it starts to be a pattern of stopping the way you think and talk about yourself. Based on how you used to be because you are not that person now.

And that's why if you say up until now, it starts to break that link between who you were, who you are now and who you are becoming. So up until now, that is a phrase that you can start using today when you notice that you're describing something about yourself that you don't want to carry into your vision.

You stop and you say up until now. So, the next phrase that is very helpful is when you are talking about or writing about your vision for your life, for your goals, for your dreams, you can say –this or something better, and what I love about this is this phrase is that we can only dream and vision about what's in the realm of what we can believe or what we're even imagining.

But as we grow and evolve and get into our vision and, you know, really progress towards our goals and dreams, more will be revealed to us. We will discover even more and more of what we would love in our vision and what we would love in our life. And so, when you say this or something better, you're within open arms to receive even better than what you're even imagining.

So, this, or something better still is a way to be open to whatever the universe has for you. And the next one, this is one y'all I've been saying since the beginning of my podcast. The most powerful question that you can ask yourself is this, what would you love? Not what would you like or what you think you should do or what you're good at or what other people think you should do, but what would you love?

That's a question that we always start with for our vision of the life that we would absolutely love living. What would you love? But you can also ask yourself this in the day to day, moment by moment, as you're trying to make decisions, as you're feeling stuck, as you're feeling confused, if you have to make a decision, you can always come back to, what would I love? And when you ask yourself that question, that is your guiding light. That is your North Star. When you answer that, it pulls you in the direction of your dream.

So, when you're making a decision, you can start with. What would I love? And that starts opening you up to the flow of ideas that are in alignment with your vision, with the life that you would love living.

That's another way to just to come back, calm yourself down. We always do that first with breathing, right? You want to take some deep breaths, calm yourself down, and then you can say these phrases to yourself and you can ask yourself this question. What would you love? So, the more that you can do that just in the day to day It helps really to guide you just as you go about your day you can just ask yourself.

What would I love and even if you can't do that in the moment it keeps you connected to your vision. So, I love that tool of those words, not only for, you know, the big picture of creating your vision, creating your goals and dreams, but also just using it as you go through the day. When you start to feel anxious or worried or confused, you can ask yourself that question.

Okay, the next one is, this is a really powerful phrase, you know, I say this with all of them, but this one in particular, when you get into doubt, when you really feel like you might give up because it's too hard or too scary. This is one that I really help my clients with and for myself too, to remind us, here's the phrase— it all worked out.

Everything that you're dreaming of, all your goals, the vision for that life that you would love. It all worked out. This is another way that you can remind yourself, get centered, get your energy in the right flow. It all worked out. Another one that you can use, another phrase. And this is similar, but kind of more in the moment.

And this is definitely one that I use probably every day. And this is definitely one that my clients and I work with almost in every session. And this is what it looks like when it's all coming together. That really helps remind all of us that there's, you know, the bumpy parts, the hard parts, the parts where it feels like two steps forward and one step back, where it just seems like it's impossible that we will create what we're dreaming of, that this will ever work out that it just starts to feel impossible because it's so hard in the moment and you have that gravitational pull back to the familiar when you're going after big goals and dreams. This is what it looks like when it's all coming together. And that just puts you back into faith, into confidence, into belief that you're going in the right direction.

And another thing I say, and I share with my clients too, is that you can just say, this is the hard part. This is the sucky part because we know there's always going to be hard parts. There's always going to be sucky parts. There's always going to be parts where you feel like this is not working, maybe I should just give up because I don't want to keep wasting my time, or this is just too hard.

Remind yourself that this is what it looks like when it's all coming together. And that again, will reinforce your belief in your vision. It will keep you going in the direction of your dream, no matter what it looks like right now. This is what it looks like when it's all coming together. I love it. Even when I say it, I love that.

Okay. This next is a kind of funny one. And I learned this from Corinne Crabtree who is a weight loss and business coach. When you’re gathering evidence for all the things that are wrong with you that are wrong with your life of how you will never achieve your goal. When she was using this phrase initially, she was talking about weight loss and her weight loss clients and kind of part of that process is really about talking about your past and all the times maybe you lost weight and gained it back or you tried and sometimes maybe you gained weight or just basically, all the things you tell yourself about why you're not going to be able to achieve your weight loss goal and she said this when she calls it my book of lies and basically the lies are just all the evidence of why it's not going to work or all the things you tell yourself about you as a person or about your goals or about your situation that she says are just lies.

There are lies you tell yourself and just like thoughts that you tell yourself over and over again. Those become beliefs and so I love this concept of my book of life. So, when something comes up, something negative about your thoughts about yourself, your goals, your family, your past, your present, whatever you're saying, that's negative and makes you feel bad, you know, makes you feel anxious or, you know, just like disappointed and you want to give up. You can just tell yourself that's from your book of lies. You can just put it in your book of lies and add it to the list of lies that you tell yourself. And she calls it the book of lies because we do this so much throughout our life, that it becomes a really big book of lies that we tell ourselves. And so that's another just quick way that you can intercept your thoughts when you're thinking these negative thoughts about yourself, these disempowering thoughts, you can just remind yourself that's coming from your book of lies and just put it back in your book of lies.

I love that one. The next one is, and some of these I've mentioned so many times in the podcast, but it's always worth reminding us of because this is in the moment by moment of how we're talking to ourselves, how we change. That is how we transform our life by changing the way we talk to ourselves.

And so, everything is created twice. First in our mind. With our thoughts, with our beliefs, with the vision for the life we would love. And then it's created in our outer world. So that's a reminder that how we're thinking, how we're visualizing, how we're imagining what we would love moment by moment, day by day, week by week.

Year by year, everything is created twice, first in your mind, and then in your reality. So, the more that you can think about what you want, what you would love, what is meant for you, what is calling you, it starts with your thoughts. You create it first in your mind and then you create it in your outer results. Everything is created twice.

The next one is one that really is kind of fundamental to how all of this works and it's another one that I've said so many times in the podcast but it's worth just reminding ourselves over and over again and it's this, notice what you're noticing and that is how you catch your thoughts. You notice what you're noticing. So, when you start to have a negative thought or you're feeling bad or you're caught in doubt or worry or procrastination or overwhelm, you calm yourself and you notice what you're noticing. What am I thinking right now? What am I feeling right now?

What am I worried about? Notice what you're noticing. And that is how you can change it, just by first having awareness of it. And so, by noticing what you're noticing, it puts a gap between what you're experiencing and what you're thinking. And that gap, that pause, it starts to be a window in how you can change.

Because first you have to notice it. First you have the awareness. of it, of what you want to change, of who you're being and how you want to be, how you want to experience your life. It always starts by noticing what you're noticing. And a lot of the time, and this is why I believe that everyone should have a coach, is because sometimes a lot of the time it's hard for us to notice it ourselves.

This is a skill that you develop to notice what you're noticing. To gain the awareness of what's holding you back, of the paradigms you're in, of the limiting beliefs that you have about yourself and the world. It all starts with having to notice it, having to have awareness of it. And sometimes with parts of where we're stuck in our life and achieving the vision for our life, it's that we can't even see, we can't even notice what we're thinking, how we're being stuck by what we're thinking. And so, starting with noticing what you're noticing, and it can just be right now. What are you noticing right now? As I'm saying this, while you're listening to this podcast, what are you noticing? You might be noticing that this is feeling hopeful.

This is feeling encouraging, that this is feeling doable, that you can use some of these phrases to help you throughout the day. Or you might be feeling anxious or irritated that these are just more things that might not work. Or yeah, I know that I've heard that, it's not helping. Anything that you're noticing right now, notice it and that is you're starting to have awareness of it and that's a window, that's a doorway into change is noticing what you're noticing and how it's making you feel and how it's making you think because that's how you can change it.

The next one is related to that and it's that thoughts become things. So just like everything is created twice. Your thoughts become things and that's connected to this next one that is your word is your wand. Think about that. Your thoughts become things. And your words, which is thoughts and what you speak, I always think of thoughts and like speaking the same, really, because what we say is just coming from what we're thinking.

So, in my mind, they're kind of the same. But your word is your wand, your word is painting the picture, either your words to yourself, the thoughts or what you're saying out loud. You are creating the life of what you're living right now and what you're painting for your future with your words. Your word is your wand.

So, speak of what you would love, speak of who you want to be, your word is painting the picture of what you would love. And it's so important to be mindful, to be aware, to notice what you're saying, what you're speaking what you're thinking because your words, your thoughts, are your wand. And that comes back to what would you love.

If you had a magic wand, what would you create with that magic wand? It's your words. Your words are your wand. So, choose them carefully. Choose your thoughts carefully. But this is a process. This is how you create the life that you would love. This is the day-to-day skill of it. By noticing what you're thinking, noticing what you're noticing and telling yourself these phrases that help break that kind of that line in the sand of up until now, these are the things that, you know, I was doing or I was worried about or habits that I had up until now, but now I know these other ways of thinking, of speaking, of journaling about what would I love and reminding myself, my word is my wand.

So, to end today's podcast, I want to leave you with this …

These are some of my powerful thoughts and beliefs that I share with my clients and with you here on the podcast, and you can take these words on faith that I believe in you. Your dreams matter. You matter. Your vision, your dreams, your goals, they are meant for you. They are important, so don't give up, start today, and don't quit. That's it.

As we wrap up today with these tips for thinking and speaking to yourself, I want to remind us of all of this one that I use every day, and it's this—this is what it looks like when it's all coming together. This is what it looks like when it's all coming together.

This is happening. Your vision is being created. You're on your way to your goals and dreams by listening to this podcast, by being inspired, by taking one little thing that you're learning on the podcast and using it. This is what it looks like when it's all coming together. Thanks for listening and I'll talk to you next week.

Thanks for joining me this week on the Success Minded Woman podcast. If you like what you heard on the podcast, and you want to know more, then head on over to www.thedreamacademy.com where you can sign up for my weekly success and mindset tips to help you create your dream come true life. Talk to you all next week. Bye.